#kim dokja's abusive father mentioned

[myfckingnameisnuwanda]

Forgiveness

AU where Kim Dokja's mother leave his father and leaves him behind when he was a child. Lee Sookyung seems to want to repair their broken relationship.

"When will you ever forgive me?" ever the straightforward.

"For now... I don't forgive that you left me. But I forgave you for leaving a long time ago. If that makes any sense"

[pttucker]

This sort of affectionate behaviour felt uncomfortable to me, like some kind of ill-fitting clothes. Was it okay to be like this? Was it okay to experience moments like this already?

How long had it been since all of my companions were smiling together like this? Maybe, this could be our first time. They were able to smile even though the scenarios hadn't ended yet. They were able to chat away in happiness like that, and share their stories. ⸢And while looking at that spectacle, Kim Dokja suddenly felt lonely for some reason.⸥

"Well, Dokja-ssi, your communication skill has always been a little lacking, so it can't be helped, I guess. You were also like that back when we were working for the company." "…I was?" "You really didn't speak all that much to other people." I became utterly speechless after she mercilessly carpet-bombed me with facts. But then again, after giving it a bit of thought, it made total sense. I grew up without a friend from a young age. I wasn't clued in on how to socialise with other people, and back then, I only thought about how to weasel myself out of the company meal get-together. I figured that, rather than wasting time doing that, I might as well read the 'Ways of Survival' one more time instead.

I wasn't sure what to say to her. It felt as if I'd only sound like an ass just by thanking her or expressing my gratitude. The 'Ways of Survival' never taught me what I should say in moments like this.

Ughhhhh, Dokja not having a single friend and basically teaching himself how to socialize based on how characters interacted in a web novel. With the main character of said web novel being Yoo Joonghyuk so...yeah...

Granted, apparently even Joonghyuk took time to give his companions breaks and hang out with his little sister.

Of course, it's not like Dokja has ever had to pay attention to what anybody else wanted when out and about doing things, nor did he expect anybody else to pay attention to him.

Ughhhhh, the pain. I know it was heavily implied that he had no friends, like ever, on top of being badly bullied and abused and traumatized from killing his own abusive father as a little kid and mentally covering it up to the point that he thought his mother killed him, who then wrote a very popular book claiming she did just that and and and...but I think this is the first time he outright says that he never had any friends?

And it seems to also be heavily implied that the relatives who took Dokja in were perhaps not the greatest considering he apparently didn't learn how to socialize from them either and moved into a hostel at seventeen...

And maybe I'm reading too much into this, but it almost seems to me like Dokja maybe thinks, at least subconsciously, that he has to earn the right to be happy and to have friends to be happy with? Or that he has to get through the bad stuff first before being allowed to finally enjoy life? (And doesn't that say a lot about his own life in the Before?)

He mentions twice that they're happy and smiling before the end of the scenarios, with one of the times literally being him saying, "Was it okay to be like this? Was it okay to experience moments like this already?" And he just feels so alienated and alone at seeing them all do exactly that, meanwhile he's got serious anxiety about all this "affectionate behavior" that can be ripped away at any moment. That he hasn't secured yet.

And maybe that's just it. Maybe he's just worried about having fun when there's still a threat nearby that can swoop down on them at any moment, and that in and of itself says a lot about his mentality and you can see pretty easily how that can tie into aspects of his past.

And that's not even getting into the fact that some part of Dokja probably feels that getting them to the end is kind of what he's there for, it's how he proves his worth and his love for them. He has no "place" at the big found family barbecue.

Ughhhh, someone please just cuddle him. 😭 Who wants to start the Kim Dokja cuddle pile? Kids? Hyunsung?

[chuncao]

Spring Curse

Joongdok Modern AU - Mentioned OD (Oldest Dream) 

CW: dead dove, suicidal thoughts, domestic violence, death

Loosely based on 春の呪い by Konishi Asuka

Kim Dokja had never liked spring. 

The weather was cold, flowers were blooming, his allergies got worse, and the first school term started. Nothing about it was good. Today was another reason that Kim Dokja hated spring. 

“Poor boy, he is just 20 years old.”

“The family spent a lot of money treating him right?” 

“Hey, where is the mother? Tsk, not coming to even her own son’s funeral…” 

“The older brother looked completely fine to me. I thought they were close?” 

That’s right. Today was the funeral of his twin younger brother - od. Kim Dokja couldn’t describe how much he treasured his brother. The boy was the sole reason why he kept living and breathing, everything he did was for his brother’s sake. Kim Dokja started writing because his brother liked reading. Kim Dokja went to college because OD told him to go in his stead. Kim Dokja dropped out of college to take care of him when no one in the family paid them any mind. His life had always been revolving around his brother ever since he was born. 

When their abusive father hit them, the only thought in his mind was how to protect his little brother. When their mother left them for another man, he tried his best to make sure that OD didn’t feel abandoned. When the diagnosis result came, he started to take up more part-time jobs to pay for the treatment fee because he didn’t want to owe his father anything. 

Now that OD was gone, he didn’t know what to do. His whole existence was based on the boy with him doing everything just for the sake of his brother’s happiness. He dedicated his life to taking care of OD, making sure that nothing could hurt his little body. But when the sole reason why he managed to survive in this cursed world disappear, he was completely lost. 

At first, Kim Dokja felt absolute anguish. He cursed the gods for taking his brother away, destroying every single last bit of effort he had built up until now. He loathed the people who were still alive and kicking when OD had to pass away at such a young age, not being able to experience what he would like to do. But slowly, he started to feel nothing. It was as if all of his senses were nulled and he reverted back to the days when he silently endured his father’s beatings, his little brother hiding in the closet. His mind went blank, not a single thought recurring in his head. Everything he did feel meaningless. 

Kim Dokja was staring mindlessly at the casket where OD lay when he noticed people gathering around it. The moment they were about to close the lid, Kim Dokja heard himself talking for the first time in a few days: 

“Please, let me see my brother for the last time.” 

He rushed to OD’s side, quickly pulling a picture out of his pocket. Then he placed that picture into the casket before giving his brother a final look. The boy was smiling as if he had a nice dream, a dream where Kim Dokja was not present. 

Kim Dokja remembered the words his brother told him before he took his last breath. 

“Hyung, I… want to carry… this with me.” 

The boy slowly raised his hand to give Kim Dokja the picture he was holding. In the picture, his brother was smiling happily at a man with an expressionless face - Yoo Joonghyuk. 

That same man’s sole existence was the only thing that Kim Dokja loathed more than spring. 

—

Kim Dokja didn’t remember his first meeting with the man. It was blurry, just like the rest of his life. The only thing that he remembered was how OD looked at him. Bright eyes, flushed cheeks, and parted lips. The boy fell in love with him at first sight. 

Things turned out to be convenient as OD and Yoo Joonghyuk were meant to be engaged to each other. Something about their family’s traditions and being courteous to the powerful Yoo family. He didn’t understand all of that, but he was certain about one thing. Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t care about the engagement. 

More precisely, the man didn’t care about anything. He always appeared to be expressionless, a frown never left his face. Yoo Joonghyuk was curt, rude, and unsociable. Nevertheless, his actions were gentleman-like and he knew how to treat others with the right amount of care. And that’s what made OD fall for him harder. 

At first, Kim Dokja didn’t pay attention to his brother’s feelings. After all, love was something normal for someone of their age. He probably was the odd one for not feeling any sort of affection for people of the other sex. Or the same sex. 

But when he started to realize that Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t pay any mind to his brother, Kim Dokja wanted to tell his brother to give up this futile love. What’s the point of loving a man who didn’t even look at you? Why did his brother have to go that far for a man he just met? 

Kim Dokja couldn’t understand. He couldn’t understand why his brother could fall in love with such a man. He had always felt uncomfortable around Yoo Joonghyuk’s presence. Every time he looked into that dark deep eyes of his, his mind was screaming for him to run away. It was as if his subconsciousness was trying to tell him that something was going wrong. 

Maybe he was right. A year after od engagement with Yoo Joonghyuk, the boy was diagnosed with stage 3 leukemia. Upon hearing the news, Kim Dokja’s eyes suddenly went back. OD had always been sickly since birth, but it never really affected his daily activities. Kim Dokja was so sure that as long as he sacrificed everything, his brother would be able to live a long happy life. Turned out he was wrong. Completely wrong. 

Kim Dokja didn’t know if it was a blessing or not when Yoo Joonghyuk’s presence helped od go through his treatment. The usual pessimistic boy would always try to endure the pain, saying that he had to get better quickly so that the wedding could take place. Every time Yoo Joonghyuk visited him in the hospital, he would act all happy and giddy for the whole day. Even the man’s empty words sparked joy inside the boy’s heart. 

“Ah, so he cares about me.” 

OD dreamily sighed as he gazed at the flower bouquet Yoo Joonghyuk just brought earlier. It was the kind of bouquet that you could easily buy in front of the hospital, one that was for people who just didn’t want to come in empty-handed. They may appear to be expensive, but their insides were just empty. 

Despite his blatant disinterest, Yoo Joonghyuk somehow kept visiting OD in the hospital. Every day, after work, he would come into the hospital room with some sort of gifts. A flower bouquet. A teddy bear. Supplementary pills. Expensive juices. Everything that one could think of when they want to visit a sick person. 

The visits, just like the relationship itself, were strange. OD would be the one talking most of the time while Yoo Joonghyuk mindlessly listened to him. His replies only consisted of the same three phrases: “Is that so?”, “I see.” and “Hm.” The last one couldn’t even count as a sentence. 

After sitting like a statue for exactly 30 minutes, Yoo Joonghyuk would bid his brother goodbye. No kiss, no hug, no word of affirmation. Just a simple “goodbye”. But for OD, that was enough. 

At first, Kim Dokja tried to leave the room so that the two could have some privacy. However, after his brother's constant begging and a realization that nothing really happened, he stayed inside, lying on the sofa while reading some web novels. Kim Dokja didn’t mutter even a single word as he listened to his brother’s monologue. Sometimes, it was too painful to watch his beloved OD desperately keeping the conversation going. He wanted to give Yoo Joonghyuk a slap, asking why the man visited when he didn’t even try to talk to his brother. Why did he keep giving his brother false hope? Why didn’t he call off the engagement when he was blatantly disinterested? 

Those thoughts didn’t stop until the day OD passed away. 

— 

It rained heavily the moment the funeral came to an end. People left the cemetery one by one, their masks falling off as they started to laugh and talk. It was as if the whole thing was just a joke. Kim Dokja felt sick just looking at their cheerful faces. 

He was the last one to remain in the cemetery, his eyes didn’t leave the cold stone tomb for once. Well, he’s not really the only one. A man with a tall figure stood behind him, holding an umbrella that sheltered both of them from the rain. As usual, he couldn’t guess what Yoo Joonghyuk was thinking just by looking at his expression. He had that same look as when he visited OD in the past, the look of utter apathy. They stood there in silence, the only sound being the heavy raindrop hitting the hard ground. None of them uttered a single word as they kept staring down at the small grave that was decorated with fresh flowers. 

Kim Dokja was about to leave when he heard the other man call his name. 

“Kim Dokja.” 

He didn’t answer. 

“Do you want to start a romantic relationship with me?” 

The man said in a voice that couldn’t be more devoid of emotions. 

At first, Kim Dokja didn’t understand the meaning of that sentence. But when the words clicked inside his head, he realized how crazy they sound. His dead younger brother's fiancée just asked him out. 

“Why?” 

Kim Dokja tried to stay calm. If not, he’s afraid that he would launch at the bastard, giving him all the beating he deserved. 

“My parents.” 

Ah, so he wanted to maintain a good relationship with this cursed family. While his father was shitty, the man still owned a big company and a lot of money. 

At that moment, Kim Dokja felt something break inside his body. Maybe he had gone crazy. Maybe he had stopped thinking. Maybe his heart had been buried alongside his brother. But when he next opened his mouth, he heard himself saying: 

“I agree. But on one condition.” 

“Take me to the places you have gone with my brother.”  

That day marked the beginning of the spring curse. 

“OD, please wait for your hyung.” 

[lunaryugamine]

I’m curious abt your orv au for the title tag game 👀

Sorry for the late response!

So this WIP is pretty much just vibes because I really wouldn't change anything about ORV, so the idea just lives in my head rent-free.

TW mentions of sexual abuse and discussion of sex work

What if Kim Dokja had a sister who would support him in everything he does?

Unfortunately, it doesn't change much.

Kim Jeongmin is four years older than Dokja and did her best to protect him from their father until their father began to sexually abuse her at 13, at which point she ran away, promising Dokja she'd come for him when their father was dead. But when their father died, she was 16 and a sex worker and in no position to come find Dokja, especially with all the media attention surrounding the case. She assumed that he would be better off without her now that he was with a normal family.

But a few years later, he attempted suicide and she realized he wasn't in a normal family and tried to get custody of him now that she was an adult (19). The family was happy to get Dokja off their hands as long as they could keep the royalties to the book, which she signed off on because there's nothing much she could do.

Maybe Dokja could have a happier life because he lived with someone who loved him?

Of course that wasn't the case. Although he logically understood why she left him and didn't come when she promised, he subconsciously resents her for it because emotions aren't rational, and he's certainly not going to therapy to sort that out so he keeps his emotional walls up. Jeongmin also has to do more difficult and dangerous jobs to have the money to take care of Dokja, which feeds into his guilt complex, especially since she comes home semi-regularly sporting bruises from customers. The best thing that came from it is that Dokja has someone who will listen to him ramble about TWSRW, discusses it with him, and at least attempts to read it (although Jeongmin can't get too far into it because it's so bad).

Jeongmin thinks the world of her brother and wants the best for him. She takes care of him the best she can, even though it's far from perfect. When Dokja leaves the house, she focuses on saving up money to start her own business and by the time the world ends, she owns her own brothel where she makes sure her workers are safe and tries to keep kids out of the sex trade as much as possible. She starts out the story with a group of people who are extremely loyal to her, and she decides to put all of her effort into trying to keep Dokja safe.

As I said, I'll never write it because trying to rewrite ORV sounds exhausting, but I did learn a lot about sex work in Korea and Korean history while trying to find a constellation for Jeongmin. I ended up choosing Hwang Jini, who was a kiseang in the Joseon period.

[yaatrickyassification]

Hello! I hope you’re doing well! I was just wondering if am I able to request Kim Dokja saving teen reader from fulfilling a their prophecy (platonic)? What I made by this is that the reader is destined to go berserk and either destroy or rule the world, and before Dokja came along, every life Joonghyuk had, the reader would go berserk (due to the amount of grief and trama that have accumulated over their life) and Joonghyuk would manage to kill them before the reader can fully complete the prophecy. Now with Dokja in the picture, he decides he wants to save the reader and while the reader is going berserk, he managed to stop them from their destiny and save them from dying, which leads to the prophecy being broken. Hopefully this is okay and makes sense, sorry it was so long!!

Thank you for your request! I'm doing very well, thank you for asking. And don't worry, it isn't too long!

[ Kim Dokja x Gn! Reader ] - Saving teen reader from fulfilling their prophecy (platonic).

Kim Dokja knows himself very well, what his traumas are, his favorite foods, and his most disliked foods - tomatoes. The vain of his existence. Or the bruises that splotch his frail and thin body when he was a kid, and even his mother's warmth that radiated off of her when everything seemed to be falling apart. He knows everything.

Maybe that is why his skill is called: [ Omniscient reader's viewpoint ] Kim Dokja admits, he knows everything. About the constellations, incarnations, dokkaebi, the star stream even, but he doesn't quite get the emotion he is feeling right now.

Swords clashed between each other, as the white pure star energy fluctuated inside of his sword; broken faith. What was he feeling? Kim Dokja asks himself, was it guilt? Was it sympathy? Or was it just him projecting his younger self on your situation?

[ Ki m Do k ja. ] Muttered the fourth wall inside of his head, "Kim Dokja! Snap out of it! Hesitating right now will result in you being the one being killed!" He barely heard the loud shouts of Han Sooyoung throughout his fight with you, he knows that. He knows it. But why can't his body do it?

Every time his sword inched a bit closer to your neck, his fingers trembled, and the power held tightly in his fingertips loosen. Deteriorating his strength causing you to change your direction to counter his swift movements, you truly deserved the title of the calamity of the scenarios.

[ Ki m Do k ja, u r pas t i s ov er. ] Yeah, that's right. His past is over, but you were [y/n] [l/n]. His favorite character even rivals his obsession with imagining himself as 'Yoo Joonghyuk.' At the mention of the regressor inside of his head, an immediate thought flashes inside of the reader's head.

'What will Yoo Joonghuk do in this situation?' An image of you dying with a sword through your neck and the regressor's cold and lifeless eyes screened through his mind, a laugh emerged out of him even in this tense situation of crossing swords until one of them is killed. Yoo Joonghyuk will surely kill you without regrets but he wasn't Yoo Joonghyuk, he wasn't a regressor, and he wasn't the main protagonist even once in his life. He was just Kim Dokja, a reader through and through.

Kim Dokja finally knows what he is feeling, it was sympathy. He has sympathy for his younger self and for you who have experienced that kind of disgusting thing, no children have the right to experience their father beating the shit out of them over a loss of an alcoholic beverage, no children should need to experience suffering their hunger in silence while hiding in a closet to avoid the abusing eyes of their father. No one.

That is why Kim Dokja wants the best for his kids - Shin Yoosung, Lee Gilyoung, [y/n] [l/n], deserves a good and happy life once they reach the end of the scenarios. My kids, Kim Dokja thought.

"Ahjussi, what did you want to be when you grow up?" Kim Dokja tilted his head to the side at your question.

"Me? It's kind of embarrassing but I kind of want to be like Yoo Joonghyuk when I was a kid." You let out a small laugh causing flames to erupt in Kim Dokja's pale cheeks.

"I can see Ahjussi shouting to himself in the bathroom mirror: "I am Yoo Joonghyuk!" Kim Dokja doesn't have the guts to refute your statement when it was the truth. "Then what about you? What did you want to be when you grow up?" Your eyes widened for a fraction before your lips curled up into a bright smile.

"Me? I wanted to be someone like Dokja ahjussi."

"Han Sooyoung!" Kim Dokja shouted but never once turned back to look at Han Sooyoung's crouching figure, his eyes solely focused on your body. Cracks and veins of the color black littered your body, with your eyes turning pure white. You look like you have come to earth to judge destruction over the living.

"I'm going to be myself from this day on!"

"What the fuck are you saying, you bastard?!" Han Sooyoung grits the words out of her teeth angrily, "you just died three days ago! Are you trying to kill yourself again?"

"Don't say that in front of [y/n]! She wants to be like me when she grows up after all!" Kim Dokja grins as the feeling that was burdening his mind and body was finally lifted out of his chest, as he remembered the words that you said to him once on the rooftop of the industrial complex during sunrise.

"Me? I wanted to be someone like Dokja ahjussi. You were cool when you battled the constellations, when you became the demon king of salvation, when you kept saving us even though we're characters inside of a novel. So, I want to survive. With the kids, Heewon and Sangah noona, even Joonghyuk-ssi. So, promise me ahjussi -" 

"Kim Dokja!" Yoo Joonghyuk who was hit and flew to the other side of the wide open space finally managed to get up to where they were now. "Kim Dokja! Stop what you're thinking, you can't do it!" Yoo Joonghyuk clenched the sword of his handle tightly.

"No, I can do it! I'll break this scenario and let's survive together until the end!" Kim Dokja looks behind and stares at his two companions with certainty in his eyes. 

[ The Constellation Demon King Of Salvation wants you to trust in him. ]

"Let's survive together until the end, ahjussi."

***

"Ahjussi! Are you okay? I'm so sorry!" You crouch down in front of Kim Dokja's body in which he curled up into himself due to the pain coursing inside of him, "damn, that hurt." Kim Dokja looks up in front of him to see your tear-ridden face as you sob uncontrollably, Han Sooyoung was behind you with an awkward expression on her face, while the sunfish bastard was in the background with a grim expression hanging over his face.

"I'm so sorry!" You sob as Han Sooyoung patted you on the shoulder, "don't worry [y/n], look, Kim Dokja alive and kicking!"

"Han Sooyoung, shut up." Han Sooyoung lets out a small tsk sound, before getting up from her crouching position and taking out a lemon lollipop inside of her coat, she unwraps the lollipop out of its wrapper with ease and plops it into her mouth right after.

"Why are you crying?"

"It's because I - I almost killed you." Your sobs quietened down as you tried to speak normally, Kim Dokja sighs before raising his sore arm and gently putting on the crown of your head.

"It's fine." You rapidly shook your head at Kim Dokja's dismissal of the situation, "it's not!"

"But didn't we survive right after?" You stayed silent.

"But - you could have just killed me before the prophecy happened." You muttered in a small, gloomy voice that doesn't belong to a teen at all.

"Now, why would I? Aren't you the one who said it? To survive together until the end."

"But -"

Kim Dokja sat up out of his curling position to look you in the eye.

"I promised you, so, let's do our best to survive. Okay?" You nodded your head and finally, you let out a smile and Kim Dokja was finally relieved of the tension inside of his body. You took Dokja's hand that was in your head and held it close to you.

His hand was rough and formed callouses together with small and big cuts littering his pale and slender fingers. But you didn't mind it, not at all. It just comforted you into thinking that this man was doing all that he could for him and his companions to survive through these gruesome and taxing scenarios.

"Till the end?" You tilted your head inquisitively.

"Till the end." Kim Dokja nodded his head with a smile on his face.